I fix my itinerary for the week on my notes- one too many things to do again. I just know my Notion hates to see me coming. Why did I choose multiple PoRs again? For my resume? The fear of not making the best of my precious few years in college? The perpetual yearning to fit in so many things at once, so that I miss out on none of them? Perhaps a mix of all these. I wait to be done with classes, and race to the next spot; the event afterwards is too soon – might have to cut dinner, but who cares about food? Chapatis are forever but certainly not this movie screening and discussion session! If this ramble sounds vaguely familiar, then the rest of this piece might hit a little too close to home. Standing on the graveyard of all the enthu that dissipated as academic calendars rolled into our inboxes, let’s begin.
We’re all aware of the enthu epidemic that grips mostly freshies (and occasionally, a few others) by the throat, and makes them embark on this quest to collect attendance for insti events like Pokemon cards. This urge to be everywhere, doing everything, certainly diminishes as the semesters pass. Let’s take a moment to remember most of my friends in the second semester- almost dying to fill out all those applications because ‘Why not? It seems fun’, or ‘ My favourite senior told me it was the best time of her insti life’. What we were on, other than a lot of Sting/coffee, nobody knows.
Why talk about people around me, when I could just turn the lens a little closer, to myself? If you’re reading this article, that means I finally finished writing it after months of having my editor on my back (Apologies to the editor). A classic case of over-enthu combined with procrastination and voila! You end up with someone exhausted and miserable, and if things have gone that bad, someone who hates the same thing they were incredibly passionate about. And to be fair you’re just human, you cannot expect commitments to be stuck to, deadlines to be adhered to, and attendance to every single event to be promised. As much as it is human to feel the need to do everything and be everywhere in the hopes of being seen and included, it is even more human to feel sick and tired of it. To feel burned out.
I think everyone gets at least one reality check during their frantic enthu-episodes. For me the first, and the most humbling of its kind happened in my 4th semester. I was in my usual 8 am attendance fit- sleep-deprived, dehydrated and utterly lost. It was at this moment that the professor decided to catch us all off guard with the “Did you guys do your reading?”, to which a majority of the class responded with averted eyes and guilty smiles. The professor was obviously disappointed but also curious as to why over half the class had shown up unprepared for class. He wanted to know what kept undergrads so occupied on a weekend that they could not complete a 12-page reading. One of us had the brilliant idea to reply “PoRs”, and there I sat through my first awakening. Amidst the flood of rebuke served with a side of elderly wisdom that only came with years of experience dealing with delusional young adults, I selectively picked up the thought that maybe my life would be fine even if I did not chase one thing after the other in the desperate hopes of fitting in, or even worse- left out.
The fear of missing out on the things happening around you is real, but soon you’ll realise that it’s really not as world-ending as you make it out to be. College, for most of us, is the little practice ground before stepping into the real world. And let’s be honest, the world out there is a very busy, very scary place (at least if we’re to believe the ones before us). The bitter truth is, we will always end up missing out on something. The sooner we realise how it is not just extremely difficult but borderline unrealistic to expect ourselves to commit to so much and come out unscathed and happy, the better.
The most common explanation that my PoR-holic/ enthu-cutlet friends have given as to why they participate in all the socials is that they wanted to make friends. Fair enough, college is indeed the easiest place to make friends; we’re all just a bunch of young people trying to figure out what we want to do with our lives while at the same time learning to have fun. I believe the best friendships occur during times of uncertainty, especially if you’re surrounded by people who share the same feeling of uncertainty. The sad side to this same story is the loss of these friendships. Most of them end up being extremely superficial and shallow acquaintances, the realisation of which adds to the burnout.
A toxic phenomenon that I have observed is this certain romanticising of “the hustle”; a blatant disregard for one’s mental and physical health in pursuit of improving their social relations, on top of which they publicise their conditions. On top of the highly competitive environment on campus, we see an abundance of people crow about their lack of sleep and packed schedules. This is not an attack or a callout, but an attempt to call to question why one must feel the need to wear themselves out to the thinnest and make a performance out of it.
What better way to end this rant than with advice?! As someone who has jumped, crawled, and parkoured through the crests and troughs of the enthu-burnout wave, I think I’m authorised to give you some unsolicited advice on how to (try to) overcome it. So here goes:
- Stop making all-nighters a habit.
- Find a hobby or interest that you can do on your own or doesn’t require dependence on other people.
- Learn to hang out by yourself.
- Don’t stay cooped up in your room all day. Step out into the sun. Get that Vitamin D. (This must be done in moderation lest the Chennai sun gives you a heatstroke)
- Dare: Cancel that plan and lock yourself in your room instead. You’ll find that you’re still alive and kicking the next day.
- Try reading a book. If it gives you a headache, start an anime.
- Sleep.
P.S. Do not hold me to any of the above-mentioned “advice”. After all, it’s easier to preach than practice.
