Insti Whatsit Person

To study for these end sems is nightmarish. To dream about them is very sad, very sad indeed. To help you remain sane (and a little RG never killed anyone), I have taken to writing a column about my revelations. Welcome to my blog. Eh, what’s that? Oh, it is for T5E apparently. Okay well then, welcome to my first article.

Alright, let me make myself clear first. I am oooordinary. Disappointingly. So you might want to stop and continue mugging. Bye then. But….there is a truth at the end that might make you wiser, so better finish reading this.

Er…Btech, chronic night owl, with as many tasks as an Ola cab in holiday season but with less purpose in life than the abandoned rusty plane outside Aero department. And suffering from severe Penstand Syndrome*. So much that the doctor said I should try to stave off the stress by keeping a blog.

For those who don’t know the Penstand Syndrome, here it is. It is coming back to the room and deciding to lie down for an hour and waking up to find you were transported to a world which is a four full hours ahead. It is your ears refusing to let the lectures penetrate deep enough to reach your brain. It is the long purposeless wandering of your feet on the insti roads at night, past sleeping dogs, past lone cycles, feeling your soul floating in the night sky sometimes with a moon — even a supermoon — for company. It is sitting down to study only to see your hand move against your will like Pettigrew’s towards your phone to check: what are the several cats doing on Facebook now, how many likes does Emma Watson have on her page, what is her first post, does Selena Gomez beat her at that? Man, she did. What’s that she is wearing anyway. How did the Iron Man suit scene start? Oh wow, he is so badass, let me just listen to his soundtrack for some motivation and then I will study. Funniest Iron Man bloopers, this should be fun………..wow, she can jump, these athlete types are incredible, Dipa was awesome too. Just look at her spin…..why are there furry faces so cute. Monkeys here ain’t never like that. Wait, I think I should be studying. Woah, so many Whatsapp messages. What is the PQR Hostel group up to now? When did XYZ change their dp? She looks nice. Why is the ABC core talking about next semester’s events now? Why am I even online? Why am I even alive? Let me Google ‘most powerful motivational sites’… I am killing it now, here goes….Hey, what’s up da?. Me, I am studying…. Shut the phone…..let’s get some tea. Ramu? I should be back as soon as possible and study. How about the library? Is it too cold? Actually too far. I will sit he- why is the room so messy! No wonder I am not studying much. Let me rearrange things. Wow, look at that, my first Schroeter shirt. Click, snap, share. Hungry but even thinking about mess food is making me feel weak in the knees. How much money do I have now. What happened to the lorry drivers because of the demonetization. Did Shashi Tharoor share his opinion on it? I think I should read about the all about the effects, this is history happening. It’s so terrible, all these people with no cash… What should I do with my life? That friend of mine is a top banker now. I really think I should do some useful online courses and get some skills. I should take control of my life now. I am going to get it together. There, I have stuck a poster now, DISCIPLINE. That should do the trick. No Facebook for some time. I will now unwind with a short cute video…. Who is this guy with 112 mutual friends? How many friends do I have now…Why am I on Facebook again? What, 9pm already?!

Books-notes-borrowed notes-music-coffee-half an hour naps that make everything more bleary- suddenly interesting wing conversations-why is this thing so complicated-where did my tutorial sheet go …. I think, I think, I think I am screwed. Oh Gajendra of GC, why didn’t I study earlier. Next semester would be perfect, I swear.

 

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Cheer up. I did mess up the test but not as badly as I thought I would. And I am still battling with my Penstand Syndrome. If you are not as particularly afflicted as I am (surely you are better than me) it will be okay. Everything will be okay, just say Peace dear <insti name> and proceed. It is all part of the years long GPL that insti gives you. Like the monkeys who work their way through every contraption that keeps the dustbins shut, you shall work it all out. Study, complete assignments, submit papers, have some fun, work and it will all be over.

Oh, and the magic promised? Here’s a truth. I, this screen, am RGing you right now. You know, your seniors, the ones who lived in that room of yours several years ago, wasted their time with much more style. So do keep away the phone or computer after reading this and study the wiser. You’re welcome.

*We asked Insti Whatsit Person about the origins of the name. It is believed that like a pen stand, Insti Whatsit person is close to the work that needs to be done and equipped with the instruments to do it, but is crippled by an inexplicable urge to stay away from anything too important.

 

Image Design Credits: Divya Vijayakumar, Saba Firdaus

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